Ninja Flight Attendants – A Good Idea?

It was bound to happen sooner or later…  

Flight attendants appear to be functioning robotically, on auto-pilot, as they coolly and politely (if teeth-grittingly) go through the motions of their job. 

They are expected to smile, keep their cool, and deal professionally with rude and difficult passengers.  Most of the time they do their temper-challenging job very well.

We should never forget that flight attendants are human and, let’s face it, they probably have baggage of their own.  Pushed far enough, humans will decompress just as easily as an airliner in trouble – as was recently demonstrated by JetBlue’s Steven Slater.  

Perhaps the media frenzy over this incident will act as a timely wake-up call to all annoying airline passengers, and, come to that, passengers travelling on any mode of transport.  It should also serve as a warning to future ex flight attendants.  When and why did we stop being polite to each other?  

Flight attendant Steven Slater is reported to have had a dispute with a passenger regarding overhead luggage after landing at JFK.  Bad words were exchanged and Slater’s head somehow got in the way when the passenger slammed the overhead locker shut.   He blew a gasket and used the intercom to cuss out the entire captive audience.  Grabbing a couple of beers he followed his own directions to the nearest exit, deployed the emergency evacuation chute and deplaned to freedom with a beer-waving flourish, leaving them all to it.  

It brings to mind the country & western classic ‘Take this job and shove it’ – which neatly explains a feeling most of us have experienced at some point in our lives.  No doubt a movie about flight attendants is already in the works.

Slater’s break for freedom was short-lived, however, as he found himself stuck with an unscheduled layover in a Bronx jail before bailing out and returning to his home in Queens.  He is said to be facing several charges, including reckless endangerment and criminal mischief.  Slater now has a huge following of sympathizers and supporters (far more, it seems, than detractors).

If trouble breaks out on your flight you might be lucky enough to have an armed air marshal onboard to help keep order.  In the U.S. some flight attendants have called for hand-to-hand combat to be made available, or even mandatory, as part of their training.   At the moment it is voluntary and those wishing to pursue it must do so during their own free time. 

On your next flight, consider whether you would feel safer if your flight attendants are trained in hand-to-hand combat or martial arts.  Something to ponder. 

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Flickr cc Image:  House of Sims